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Plans, Panic & Pool Noodles (Wedding Prep Meets Pinterest Lies!)

Plans, Panic & Pool Noodles (Wedding Prep Meets Pinterest Lies!)

Hey Misfits!

I didn’t get a blog out last week because I’ve been knee-deep in DIY wedding planning for my son's reception! You read that right! James, my son (and our Malicious Women Candle Co E-Commerce Manager), is getting married tomorrow! While you're reading this, the we are probably just landing and the family is checking into our hotel...or...we are on our third mimosa! Who knows?!?

I absolutely adore Kerra, my soon-to-be daughter-in-law. She’s got just the right amount of sass to keep my son in check and the heart of a saint. I couldn’t be prouder of them both! It only took him 5 years to propose!

Next weekend, we’re hosting a celebration wedding reception for all the friends and family who couldn’t make it to the wedding. Naturally, I got overly confident and decided to make the DIY wedding centerpieces myself. TikTok wedding planning tips makes everything look so damn easy. The plan? A pool noodle, zip-ties, faux florals from Michaels, and of course candles.

Three glue gun burns and a sliced finger later, I had a minor floral meltdown. I’m not one to give up, but I do know my limits. Fun Fact: A dull box knife is NOT the correct tool to slice a pool noodle down center. There was blood. Fighting a pool noodle while shoving stems into it was enough to send me straight to Haggen’s floral department with a humbled heart and a new respect for centerpieces.

This is my second kid to get married, and let me tell you I’ve learned a few things. When my daughter got married, I was a full-blown control freak/ mother of the bride! I distributed color-coded wedding binders, laminated schedules, and Excel spreadsheets galore. Two weeks before the big day, my daughter literally threw hers out the window in protest. Fair.

This time around, I’m much more chill. As the mother of the groom, I’m only in charge of the reception  since the wedding will be handled by the venue at the destination. Do I still want to throw an amazing party? Of course. But my crazy is now economically capped. Did you know fake flowers cost more than real ones?! And anything from the bridal section is 10x more expensive than the same exact item on a different aisle. I’ve become a bargain-hunting ninja out of sheer necessity.

If you're looking for funny wedding gifts or the perfect candle for a bridal shower, check out our full Bridal Collection—just in time for spring and summer wedding season.

My personal fave? “Xanax Is Her Something Blue.” Inspired by a friend of mine who had a full-on breakdown before walking down the aisle and screamed, “Does anyone have a fucking Xanax?!”  You know I had her back. I keep mine in a PEZ dispenser because if you’re gonna have anxiety, you might as well make it fun.

And while you’re at it, drop a comment here or over on socials (please! Help me get my engagement up) and tell me:
What’s the best (or worst) thing you’ve ever heard at a wedding? Bonus points for drama.

PS, After they post pics, I’ll be sure to share photo’s with you all too!

As always,
Stay Malicious.
Lacie (Mother of the Groom)

Comments (6 comments)

Kat

Congratulations! I hope the day goes well :D

Anna Hanson

Congratulations. Thank you for sharing your experiences. My daughter just got engaged last Saturday after 11 years. It was about time. I am looking forward to how she and my future son in law want to prepare for the wedding. Hope you have lots of fun.

val

love ur sass n malice do check out

Snarky in the Suburb ( bridal ) + all things snark

you’ ll find a kindred spirit V

Lorraine

Congratulations to the kids and to you, mama, I lift my Pez dispenser.

Jessica

Congratulations James & Kerra!

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