First I'd like to say a Ginormous Thank You to everyone that left comments on my last post. I read every comment and you made me feel so accepted and like I wasn't alone. Seriously, you didn't have to take the time to read it or comment but thank you so much for all your uplifting and healing words.Ā
I wasn't going to write but once a week, but I am left with no choice but to turn to you for help. My pride is at stake!Ā
Anybody trash talk so much only to be slapped in the face by your own poor choices? My 20 Year old son-James, my husband-Joe and my Father in Law-Mike, have been in a fantasy football league for as long as I can remember. Until just recently they would fly to Oklahoma for their draft. To say fantasy football is serious business in my house is an understatement. Itās ESPN nonstop, mock drafts and faces glued to phones checking player stats.Ā
I felt left out and asked if I could join this year since they had an open spot. My strategy was simple. I pulled 9th pick and I would draft the best of who was left with the secondary criteria of if I liked their outfits or not. Some people call them uniforms, I call them outfits to irritate the menfolk. If I was still stuck, I used my entire 2 minutes discussing who had the kindest smile. It was great fun! I may have also spent the time I wasnāt āon deckā discussing which one of my candles I was going to light to prove my superiority. Of course I chose All I Do Is Win Infused With The Tears Of My Opponents.
I even said I was gonna hit Costco to buy Kleenex in bulk for the opening weekend so they would have something to mop up the tears. Hereās what I didnāt know. Yahoo Sports sends a report card after the draft to grade your cunning and skill. Below is my report card.
Soooā¦yeahā¦.I changed my team name to RecipeForDisaster and thought Iād share the results of the last two weeks.
And... how I am doing so far this week.
Hereās My Ask: Can one of you help me? I am currently tied for last place and if I lose this week, I WILL be last place. I canāt ask any of the sportsing guys in my life since they are all in the league. I really want to win a game!!! Like really bad! If I donāt end up in the playoffs, I have to hand-deliver (or ship) each person in the League a custom All I Do Is Win candle Infused With Lacieās Tears. That will be so physically painful!
Can someone pretty please look at my line up this week and see if I should startĀ anyone else for Sunday? I have up until like 9:45am PST to make changes to my players.
Go Sports & Stay Malicious (EvenĀ though I didn't and changed my team name to RecipeForDisaster)
Lacie
Comments (16)
Ahhhhhhh
Canāt help you with picks but if it helps your pride at all this is something I would 100% do. I accidentally picked the March Madness winner one year and man did I think I was the tits. Until literally every year since (at least 12 years running). Ask my husband if heās a big enough man to take no joy in my defeats. (the answer is ānoā by the way)
My husband is very invested and wants to know how your week went!
Play DK Metcalf- he did full practice and is going to play! Zack Moss should also be put in. Iām the only girl in my husbandās high school friends league and Iām 1-1 currently haha. Bench Marquise Brown for sure. He let me down last year.
He also said move Marquise Brown to the bench since heās probably not going to play and put in Adam Thielen ā heās consistent, working with a backup QB (but an experienced one, Andy Dalton) that will probably target him more than usual because heās experienced.
Ok, so my husband is a fantasy football legend and regularly wins our leagues. He said you need better running backs. Switch your two running backs to Gus Edwards and Zack Moss for this week. The two RBs you have in now are sharing carries with other members of their team, while Edwards and Moss are the starting running backs. If you have an IR spot (for the player on Injured Reserve), put Diontae Johnson there and pick up the best available wide receiver or running back. If you donāt have an IR spot, drop Washingtonās defense and pick up a WR or RB.
I know nothing about Fantasy Football but my office does stuff like this all the time. Fantasy Football, Final Four, a bracket for the Bachelor & Bachelorette, and has even done a Dead Pool. Iām not into these at all but I participate & I usually do well with this strategy. I find the 2 biggest fan group on Facebook and join them. I skim & look for which members alway seem to have spoilers or be right. I make a point to check their public posts & group activity weekly & is it to inform my decisions. I visit their profile & look to see what podcasts and people they follow related to the topic. I visit these & decide if theyāre helpful or not. This always gets me pretty high up early on. So then, knowing nothing, I appear to be an expert. And I start dropping nuggets to the other people in the pool. If my Rando FB spoiler guy says the worst thing you can do is play players X, Y, and Z. I let the others in the pool accidentally overhear me tell someone playing players X & Y would be smart & not to play Z (and I cite the reasons FB guy said.) Then the people in my pool start making dumb mistakes right when itās harder for me to make lucky stolen logic guesses. Good luck!!!
I was gonna say bench Marquise Brown. Instead of Tank Dell, Iād pick Adam Thielen but thatās also because the Panthers are my geographic team (my area). Iāve been a Packers girl though since 3rd grade (the late 70s when they really sucked).
Lacie, I am so not competitive & know bupkus about the fantasy foosball so hereās my suggestion. Lose. Come in dead fucking last. And lose with all the Maliciousness of a goddess and have a blast doing it! Dance. Sing. That is a win in itself!
I joined my guys team a few years ago BUT made him promise not to tell the guys who I was until the end o fthe season. I knew nothing and based my lineup on who did well the previous week. Typically by the 4th week I was doing ok. My first season I came in 2nd and felt pretty good. I still have no clue what Iām doing but itās fun so I donāt care. The guys do know who I am now and when I do manage a win I can rub it in with much amusement. Somehow losing to me is worse than losing to the guys. Keep at it, youāll find your groove!