Malicious Gift Card
I get it — life is hectic, holiday travel makes your head spin, and you can't possibly cram all the thoughtful gifts you would've already gotten if you had time into your carry-on bag, anyway. Malicious Women Candle gift cards make the perfect present — because, obviously, you can't fit a new car or a pony under a Christmas tree any other way. Plastic gifts don't have to mean that the gift isn't awesome, and just because you're a dedicated procrastinator doesn't mean you can't still be super thoughtful.
Let them choose their Maliciousness!