Welp...If you're here from the socials, please read Part 1. Video link below
I honestly can't figure out how to reply to comments on this Shopify Blog, but thank you all for the emails and comments of support on Part 1.
I had no idea it took two days to bake a freakin' loaf of bread. I felt like a new mom doting over her newborn baby. I followed the instructions online to the letter however things went horribly wrong.
I used my bread scraping/ folding tool and carefully placed her in fancy new bread proofing basket. I set timers for the 4 folds that are required, I let her chill out in the fridge overnight but she fell hard. That's when I improvised.
I wet my hands and re-kneaded it to try and let her rise again. I don't think I was supposed to do that. I probably should have started over, but I was committed and all-in at this point.
She rose a little bit and I finally couldn't wait anymore. I preheated my Dutch oven and baked the bitch. She looked ok while cooking and even stayed slightly fluffy. The house smelled amazing and I was convinced I made bread.
In Narrator Voice: She in fact did not make the perfect loaf of bread...she made a brick of bread.
I pulled Sad Sally out of the oven and as she cooled, she just kept getting harder and harder. I was still cautiously optimistic or maybe delusional but I thought the inside would be soft.
If you haven't seen the video yet of me slicing the backbreaking brick of bread, please check our socials. I can't figure out how to imbed a video into this blog.
I sliced a few slabs of stone and spread peanut butter on them thinking these would make great dog biscuits, and even Alice, my Golden (who eats anything) looked at me offended. She took it outside and buried it. I was dead and Joe and I laughed so hard! This was a two-day, $150 inedible kitchen disaster.
Not to be defeated, I started a new batch yesterday. This loaf had a great crust but was still a little flat. I made dinner rolls too which turned out great!
Here is my takeaway. It is so easy to get wrapped up in the daily bullshit. I think it is important to step away and bake a Sally Shit Show. I didn't think about business all weekend and had so much fun learning this new hobby. My husband and I laughed until we had tears. He says it reminded him of the time I tried to make Eggplant Parmesan early in our marriage. 25 years later and that meal still holds space in his head! :)
Thank you all again for following me on this bread journey. I'm super excited for the coming week and feel refreshed and ready to dominate the world of scent and flame!
Stay Malicious,
Lacie
Oh...Because I drank about 17 pots of coffee while baking this bread brick, this weeks' sale item will be $10 coffee mugs. Use coupon code Sally at checkout for $5.00 off all mugs.
Comments (7)
I love your blog and your candles. Don’t let the poo-poo-ers of the world get you down. Years ago I made desert for Thanksgiving and had my new boyfriend over to meet the family. The desert was supposed to be a caramel ice cream pie. Yum. As my mother and boyfriend were in the other room talking I pulled the pie from the fridge and started cutting. Well, I mean to say I TRIED to start cutting. The knife went into the cream topping easily enough, then hit hard rock. Okay I thought, maybe a little more force. No go. Pushed a little harder and got a little ways in, tried to pull the knife out and pulled the entire pie came with it. Well, $@*% I thought, and started to giggle. A minute later I was kneeling on the table determined to cut that sucker and laughing so hard tears were running down my face. My boyfriend and mother came into the kitchen wondering WTF was happening. Needless to say, there was no caramel ice cream pie that year and it was shortly after there was no boyfriend either! Good riddance to them both! Kept the mother! ;)
I still have that recipe, I see it and giggle a little, then put it back in the box.
Hugs! Keep up the good fight!
There is a podcast from Huberman Labs that talks about and encourages you to fail often (mission accomplished for me!) If you fail and walk away, the end result is misery; if you keep trying – even if you fail – there is a sense of accomplishment. So while you might not take home the blue ribbon from the state fair, you’re still a winner because you didn’t give up (side note: if you didn’t sing Rise, Sally! Rise! I’m going to be a little disappointed). I’m a helluva cook, but I can’t bake for shit. Cooking is taste, baking is science, and since I cheated through most of my science classes in school, it stands to reason baking isn’t my gift. That’s okay though. I still try and every so often what I bake is edible. Win for me! Thanks for bringing us along on your bread-baking journey. Cheers!
Dip in hot coffee and it will be just fine. That’s what I do with all my bricks!!
I once asked a friend what he wanted for Christmas.. he said “bake me a lasagna.” I explained I neither bake nor eat lasagna. He said – just try – anything you make will be great!" I remembered how my ex hubby made it, and tried my best. It looked good. It smelled good BUT it fell apart when you sliced into a pool of noodles, sauce, cheese, meat and veggies… That was about 15 years ago. I tried on more time years later with the same outcome. He STILL brings up the lasagna – I tell him I TOLD him I don’t make it!!!! I have never dared bread on my own. When I was little my best friend’s mom used to bake bread all the time and let us have dough to shape into small loaves or rolls…I was about 8 then…. someone gave me a lovely bread cloche, whisk and bowl set to make bread… it sits in the box… baking bread scares me! Kudos to you for the bread adventure!
Mine was a cream puff nightmare. Got the right taste and texture down. Dough made for the little scooped then on a baking just waiting for the rise. Not a one rose and the all looked like little pancakes. So no cream puffs for desert but what I have as cream cakes for brunches and the occasionally overly sweet pick me up. Still haven’t mastered them
I used to bake bread all the time in my old house, and when I moved 15 miles away, everything I made turned into hockey pucks, the birds wouldn’t eat it, I tried everything, new flour, new starter, except water, yep that was the culprit, try using spring water in your bread recipes. Good Baking, keep trying.
You’re amazing. Thanks for the laughs. REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR candles. Keep them both up, please.
Hugs,
Jeri