Disclaimer: I write this with permission from my neighbor who also allowed me to post their pics.

My ears are bleeding! It’s Fucking Recorder season. If you don’t know, we bought our house directly across the street from a park. It was great when the kids were younger, but now…sweet holy hell it’s loud. Joe and I love to sit on our porch and have a beverage after work and it sounds like a damn daycare when the bus releases the feral children of our neighborhood. Let me be crystal clear, there are 4 kiddos I actually like, 2 are my adopted grandbabies. These littles come over and help me garden (eat the strawberries), chat about their days and tell me all about their magic sticks. I absolutely love it!

These are my adopted grandbabies sporting the shits I made them for their Pirate camping trip. 

I also lucked out in the neighbor department! Jenn and Todd are two of the best parents on this planet. Joe and I giggle when they lose their shit or one of the kiddos is acting a fool. It’s so real and brings me back to when I had kiddos at home. Both kids are typically super respectful to their parents, but boy when one of them gets mouthy, it’s hilarious. Last week boy kiddo was told to go inside, he wasn’t done playing yet and Jenn threatened his screen time. He must have left his brain at the park because he said loud enough for the neighborhood to hear “I already lost it, so it doesn’t matter!”

I gasped…it was so out of character.  Jenn’s face was epic and I just stood up and yelled “Run, ____(insert soon to be dead, boy child name).

All this to say, I adore these kids. This week my love is being tested. Which brings me back to Recorder season. My ears have been assaulted for days; I can hear it through the walls. My sweet young girl neighbor has been running all over the park like a little Pied Piper intent on mastering her Recorder skills. It's the horrific screeching for me. 

I have paid my Recorder dues as a mom of three. I’ve sat through 2 Recorder recitals with the other parents being held hostage. With James, the youngest, I wasn’t about to sit through another one. I wrote a note (email wasn’t a thing yet) to his 3^rd grade teacher and stated James couldn’t practice at home because the noise made our (non-existent) cat violent. James was thrilled and I paid him $20 to keep quiet about it.

Yesterday, I was leaving for work and there was a beautiful gift bag on my porch from Jenn. I about fell over laughing when I opened it to find a brand-new pair of noise cancelling headphones. It truly is one of the best gifts I have ever received!

Stay Malicious,

Lacie

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