As many of you may know, I am a spiritual person, not necessarily a religious one. I was raised in a Christian CULT in Los Angeles, CA. My childhood and teen years were filled with guilt, shame, and the constant need to please those in authority over me. It took decades and massive amounts of therapy to begin to remove the brainwashing. I lived in a constant state of sin, shame and disappointing my family with my thoughts and opinions. Being threatened with burning in hell for all eternity for listening to secular music or reading a teen fashion magazine was enough to get me questioning my 'forced' faith.

After I moved out and had babies of my own, I had to decide how I was going to raise them. I certainly did not want to raise them in the church where my daughter would have to suppress her opinions and submit to whatever man was in charge of her. I didn’t want to raise my son to believe he should be making decisions for women either. So, I began to study. The Bible made no sense to me. I had it memorized, as that was what was drilled into me. When I was particularly mouthy as a child my parents would make me write select Bible verses 100 times to really drive home the shame.

My burning question was, before this divinely-inspired book of rules was written down by Catholic men, where did people find spiritualty? There was a gaping hole in my life after I turned away from the church. As much as I hated the constant failure feelings, I now had no higher being to ask for guidance, to pray for others or to ask for peace during my anxiety attacks.

Enter Goddess Brigid.

The Goddess Brigid is associated with wisdom, poetry, healing, protection, smithing and domesticated animals.

Brigid made herself known to me about 10 years ago when I was feeling particularly lonely. I kept seeing signs of her everywhere. As I opened my heart to her and started talking with her, I felt a relationship of trust form. I have a beautiful bronze statue of Brigid, the triple Goddess on my altar (don’t come at me, churches have altars too). Joe and I converted my old office into a meditation room. My church now is lighting a candle to Brigid, Laura, my sister Sarah and the bestest boy Jake (my golden retriever who passed) and call in my spirit guides when I am in my feels. Sometimes it is practicing gratitude, sometimes it is to block out the shitty committee that lives in my head and sometimes Joe and I will meditate together to reconnect if we are both drained and have nothing left to give. I ask for protection for my loved ones and for guidance. Sometimes my church is my garden, the woods behind my house, or a soothing bath while appreciating the full moon outside my bathroom window.

It was drilled into me as a child the only way to get into heaven is to be filled with the holy spirit. For me, being filled with the spirit is appreciating and respecting the earth around me, the air I breathe, the water that nourishes me and the fire that keeps me warm. I live in a constant state of awe at the beauty around me. I’m also that crazy lady that talks to her tomatoes and tells the flowers how pretty they are.

Ok, this is getting long, back to Brigid.

This past Spring, Joe started dabbling in Crypto. In one of his first ventures, he turned a $500 investment into a sizable chunk. I say this not to brag (that is not the Christian thing to do), but just to tell the facts. He wanted to reinvest and try it again and I said “The FUCK you are!” knowing this money miracle will likely never happen again. He pulled out the imaginary money from his imaginary wallet and converted it to real money. I said I want to spend it on a vacation of my dreams. I want to go to Brigid’s well in Ireland and I want to go in style! Joe being the most AMAZING husband, made my dream come true!

I made a custom candle for Brigid as my offering representing Earth- my brown vessel and soy wax, Air- the scents of her favorite herbs: Rosemary, Thyme and Mint. Fire- The wick and flame to add to her eternal flame that has been burning since the 12^th century and the Water element is represented with the liquid wax as the candle is burning. By some twist of fate or divine intervention, Brigid’s well was completely empty when Joe and I arrived at church.

Access to the holy water is gained by entering a whitewashed well-house that surrounds the well and proceeding down a dark and narrow passage. Multiple layers of votive offerings have built up inside the well-house. The air inside the well smelled of sweet flowers, flowing fresh water and magick. I took my time approaching the well, stopping to appreciate the gifts of other pilgrims and sent blessings out to the universe hoping they found the peace they sought in their pilgrimage to the well.

Joe went outside to admire the grounds while I prayed and lit my candle for Brigid. I wanted the opportunity to thank her in this sacred place for finding and guiding me these years. Dipping my hands in the well water took my breath away. The water was ice cold and crystal clear. I don’t know if it was the temperature or the sacred place, but my entire body was covered in goosebumps. It felt like a spiritual hug. I remained for a long time until I felt selfish for keeping her so long (Christian guilt never fully goes away) and went to the garden so that Joe had time with Brigid as well.

My heart was indeed filled with spirit.

Then we went for a pint.

To summarize, we were able to use magic money to have the most memorable vacation of my life and I feel forever changed. Being able to share 12 days in Ireland with Joe brought us even closer to each other. We met some interesting people and have so many tales of our adventure. Maybe I will write about dead cat guy, Kate the butter lady, the belligerent horse, and how we almost died on a boat in a torrential downpouring of rain.

Stay Malicious,

Lacie

Fun Facts:

In Irish folklore, Brigid and her sisters also named Brigid are a triple Goddess and she is the goddess of higher ground, higher learning, and higher consciousness. She is the patron goddess of the Druids and visible signs of Druid language and pagan worship is still seen in the well.

Unable to eradicate Brigid’s popularity with the Celts, Christendom renamed her Mary of the Gaels or Brigit who became known as the foster mother of Jesus. They placed statues in her dedicated spaces and canonized her in the 5th century, making her a saint. Her symbolic cross made from rush can be seen throughout the countryside.