Welp, it has officially happened. I am on the cusp of perimenopause and full beard growing Menopause. I’ve been dealing with hot flashes and increased facial hair for about two years now, but for the most part it has been handled with supplements. I had a hysterectomy when I was 28 so I haven’t had a cycle that could give me clues on where I was officially at.
Recently the hot flashes have become so severe that I have taken to sleeping with the air conditioner on full blast and my poor husband sleeping with two blankets. It was back and forth for me. Blanket. No Blanket. All. Night. Long!
I looked into medical intervention about two months ago and discovered something called HRT Pellets. If you don’t know what these are, they are hormone pellets that are inserted with a giant needle into your ass fat. I thought this is the perfect solution for someone with ADHD as I never can remember to take my meds. Side Note: What cruel joke is it that someone with ADHD is responsible for their own medication?
Note: Stock Google Image - This is not a picture of my ass.
I met with a naturopath doctor, got blood work and was told I was the perfect candidate. Turns out…I am not the perfect candidate for non regulated, non FDA approved hormone cannons shot directly in my body. First, after the DR cut open my butt cheek I couldn’t sit for 9 days. It hurt really, REALLY bad. If that was the worst of it, I would have been fine…but right about the time the giant lump formed the hormones started releasing. I warned my husband I may be a little emotional until my body adjusted to the Testosterone that was now coursing through my body.
Neither of us were prepared for the Yeti Style hair growth on my body. Ya’ll, I can braid my thigh hair. I’m not saying like a little hair, I’m saying we could do high design braid fashion with the black 3” long hair. I’m plucking chest hair ( these literally appear overnight and are black and long?!?) and my arms look like a gorilla.
I made a consultation to get sugared because there is no way I can keep up with this shaving. She suggested I split the waxing up into TWO days! Mind you, this isn’t because of the schedule but due to the sheer volume of new hair I am growing would be a lot for one sitting.
Now the hormones. Ya’ll I’m not right. Joe and I had a very heated conversation about the classic Willie Wonka movie. We argued over the fact that I think the movie is Creepy AF and he considers it a cautionary tale about greed. The back and forth that happened was just short of bat shit crazy. I argued there were less terrifying ways to make a point and he argued it was a different time. Obviously, I knew that, but I ended up crying (I rarely cry) upset because why couldn’t he just agree with me that the movie is creepy AF?
Yesterday I started crying because I couldn’t find my air pods and got entirely too irritated that my son drank my last tiny coke. I’m damn near ready to grab a steak knife and dig these pellets out of my own ass. On the plus side, all this should resolve in 3-6 months. Hooray! I feel like I am either crying or apologizing at this point. I will NOT be getting another round!
Disclaimer: Do your own research. I am not a doctor and am sharing my own experience. I’ve heard fabulous stories that these work for a lot of women and horror stories like mine. Let me know your thoughts and if you’ve tried anything else to help manage the symptoms of this menopause bullshit!
Stay Malicious,
Lacie
Comments (22)
Seriously screw menopause. I am 45 and post-menopausal. I had horrible hot flashes…I swore my entire chest and neck would turn into molten lava. I have an Estrogen patch and take a Progesterone pill in the evenings and this combo probably saved my SANITY. I haven’t noticed any side effects either. I was waking up to a hot flash every day…like it was triggered by my alarm clock. But I only have about 1-2/day now (it was about 3-4/hour). Early menopause doesn’t even run in my family, but now I’m ahead of the game when all my girlfriends go through it, I got their back. Nobody warned me about how crappy menopause is or even how to deal with it. I had to switch family doctors because mine was clueless. I WISH there were more resources and better resources. I hope you feel better and I’m sorry you went though that.
p.s. Cannabis also played a big part in regulating my mood and helping me sleep while going through “THE CHANGE”.
Thank you for sharing and I am in love with this new candle.
I always saw myself as one who would go into my middle age gracefully. And then I was full menopausal at the age of 41 yo, and there was nothing fucking gracefull about it. Between the doctor first telling me I was too young and it must be psychosomatic to then getting the blood work that proved it and telling me I just needed to accept the new place in life I cried A LOT. Two years later and that doctor retired and my new doctor asking me why I wasn’t already on HRT bc I was too young to not be I found Biotechnology pellets. Yes, there can definitely be issues, but I have plenty of ass for those little pellets, and the place I go to get mine also does really cheap laser hair removal bc they know. It has been a game changer for me, and my marriage. I lost the 40lbs I had stacked on and no longer feel like I don’t recognize my own reactions to my life.
Another thing I learned is that society doesn’t even discuss that men go through the same hormone drop as we do. We are made out to be crazy while they get the car and mistress. Total crap. My husband get his own version of the pellets and we both say to hell with aging gracefully! We will use science instead!
I started a low dose antidepressant for hot flashes and it works plus gives me energy. I also sleep with a/c and a fan . I am noticing joint stiffness when I wake up. Good luck.
7.5 years of hot flashes and night sweats. I can’t take HRT due to a history of blood clots. Tried the creams prescribed by my doctor and had Yeti-like hair growth on my thighs and stopped it immediately. Now I just suffer silently, unless one of my mini-fans is running. Try Pausewell Aging products. They make a cooling mist/roll-on and I keep that in my purse, on my desk and on my nightstand. Good luck and I hope it’s over soon for you.
I started about a year ago – and 10 years later, NOW they are willing to do a hysterectomy (long story about poor care for LGBTQIA+ folks). I found a new gyn in May when my sister had a preventative double mastectomy (FH and BRCA2 genes – and our mom died of cancer at 62) and I get my results next week. Which is also my birthday. However, depending, I will either have a full hysterectomy taking everything (ovaries, fallopians) including perhaps lymph nodes. So your post is timely and I will bookmark it for reference next month! Thanks for sharing so openly!
Oh, how I feel for you sister! When I started hormone replacement I had a full on crying melt down because the hubs didn’t take out the garbage. Logically I was thinking WFT is wrong with you? It’s just a garbage bag, but my hormones made me feel like this was the end of our relationship…. Now, it’s funny but at the time, I am sure he though, who is this woman and what has she done with my wife? What is even more fun, is now after 2 years of no periods, fibroids have decided to invade my uterus and now I randomly wake up to sheets that look like a crime scene. Good times. 🤬 Being a woman is not for the faint of heart.
I swear by Amberen! It has helped my hot flashes tremendously.
Welcome to the club. My need for chocolate or any junk food is off the charts. If you look in my car trunk you would see I keep a tiny grocery store in there. (Chips, soda, cookies, etc) I also hide my chocolate through out the house like a druggie hides drugs. My husband reached into his underwear drawer and to his surprise there was a a bag of Reese’s Peanutbutter cups and a bag of Kit Kats. When he got to the sock drawer I had a bag of Three musketeers in there. When ask “WHY THE HELL IS THERE CHOCOLATE IN MY DRAWERS.” I just looked and him and goes the kids would never think to look in your drawers for candy. I don’t have a problem with hair growth but I can’t remember shit and sometimes I think I forgot how to put two and two together or even speak. Hugs to you.. Heather.
I use the BioTe pellets because I had a full hysterectomy, the only thing they left was they driveway. I did not know about the pellets initially, it’s not something the doctors talk about. So they had me on these goofy 0.5 Estrogen patches. I was miserable for 2 years. I started having issues with my heart, lost 20 pounds of muscle mass almost over night and packed on 50 pounds of flab in a year. I didn’t want to do anything, go anywhere and even abandoned my car projects. It was a nightmare. A co-worker turned me onto the BioTe pellets, I went in, had a consultation, she did blood work and then a mix of 15 estrogen and 270 testosterone. The first month I didn’t really notice anything, but after the second month, I was off like a rocket! It’s been 2 and a half years, I switched providers because I moved to the other side of the state, but it’s still working for me. I lost the weight and have gone back to almost where I was pre-garage and light removal. I get consultations and blood work every 6 weeks and new pellets every 12. There’s supplements that I have to take with them to keep the estrogen under control, so I don’t get crazy mood swings. I’m sorry you’re having a hard time with yours, it may be because you’ve gone so long without the needed hormones, or it could be your body is adjusting to it. I hope it gets better, the pellets can be a real blessing.
Thx for cautionary tale!! will NOT get pellets in my ass!